Thursday, March 26, 2009

My Lifetime Art Piece

the other day i was sittin around playin some tunes
and i thought of an idea on how to make millions
AND create an art piece
you remember that creepy guy Raffe or Raphie
he was that children entertainer that was very eerie but homely
if your not sure who he is or just need a refresher, look IT up anyways, i was screwin around and pretty much felt "a Raffee" come out from the depths
so hopefully, "James-ee", (that's gonna be my name)
will make it and become famous
throughout the years i will entertain kids and their loving parents
through a learning process of dialogue and singing tunes like:

Me, "that looks like a fossil there. do you all know what a fossil is?"
Children and parents, "No!!!!"
Me, "Well would you like to know what a fossil is?"
Children and parents, "Yeahhhhh!!!"
Me Singing, "Wellllll, a fossil is a thing from the past,
That scientist's get to look way back,
On time that is."
Me, "You all know what time is?"
Children and parents, "YEahhhhh/NOoooo!!!"
Me Singing, "Wellllll, time is a measuring system,
For sequencing events.......
Oh Boy, that seems like some bigs words, huh.
Well don't worry,
That's what growing up is all about,
(yell) LEARNINGGGGG!!!!!!"

then hopefully at the hieght of my career
i will have a huge festival based around "James-ee and His Learning Tales of Life"
This is where my whole art piece would end
I would make sure that there is a whole shit load of people,
mostly kids with their parents
all 100,00 loving families bunched up getting ready for my festival
i would start off about 10 minutes with my normal routine
of learning about the earth and body and shit
then when everyone is least expecting
"James-ee" the loving children figure,
would make sure they remembered that moment for the rest of their lives

Me, "Are you all having fun today?"
Children and parents, "Yeaaaaaaa!!!!!!!"
Me, "Well that's just great because I'm having a wonderful time too!!"
Children and parents, "(lots of cheering)"
Me, "How 'bout you turn to your parents and give them a big hug"
Children and parents,"(smiles and joy while embracing their loving folks)"
give them a minute or so

Me, "Do you kids wanna know how you were made?"
Children, "YEAHHHHH!!!!"
Me, "Well the story about the stark carring you in a basket is a lie"
Parents, "(Gasping and questioned looks)"
Me singing, "Your dad put it in your mom,
On the night of their prom
They didn't want to have ya
But that was the churches choice
Now they love you and you love them"
Parents and Children, "(Screaming and scampering for safety)"
I would hopefully guess that the sound guy would be on myside,
as part of the art piece, of course
because i dont want the mic to be turned off
While the families are going nuts and throwing shit
and trying to run out of the squished festival
i would keep on going on about rude things that are supposivly not "right" for children's ears like

-has your dad ever yelled at your mom? or
-do you think of your sister or mommy in funny but wierd ways? or
-do you always twitch?
-well that might be because your mom did tweak in the 80's during her punk rock era (or) -you are a meth baby and there is nothing to do about it other than "not do meth"

then while all the craze and anger is going on for some time
i would thank them very much for all the great years
and "thank you for particapating in my art piece,
it was a lifetime achivement"
so i would make millions and then not really ruin their childhood,
but make them think hard about their lives
probably get sued but oh well.
well that is my somewhat idea on how to make millions- if all else fails

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